Yes... I am a Single Mom!
When my little dude, Julian was almost a year old, his father and I split up. Then he left the country-- without saying goodbye I might add -- to start a new life.
The first year was chaos, devastating, and scary. I was left heartbroken not because we split up (which is needed by the way!), but because I can no longer provide a complete family to my son. But believe me, a relationship without a trust won’t survive the test of time (more on this later…).
It didn't help that there were no single mom role models in my life -- although, I know a few, it didn’t matter to me their stories at the time. Fortunately, I had a fantastic family who helped me and my little dude at our most difficult time. Maybe none of them knew exactly what I was going through deep inside, but they babysat and showered Julian with love and supported us in so many ways, which I appreciate to this day. My mom never left my side and I knew then she was hurting the most. She cried with me and pushed me to keep moving forward. She is the epitome of a woman and a mother. As they say, you will never appreciate a mother until you become one… And that speaks volume nth times.
Can I make it as Single Mom?!
After a time, I got back on my feet venturing the world of single parenthood. And what I discovered along the way helped me to hold my head high.. and that I am not alone AND that I can pull this through. One step at a time! Anyway, parenthood is the biggest undertaking you will ever face. And this is true even if you're married!
There are single moms out there who gets reliable and substantial spousal alimony and child support from their baby’s dad, which is really intended to cover share for their kids basic necessities. However, these support are not given without a sweat and I could attest to that -- I am one of those who fought for child support, exhausted so much money that went down the drain and at the end of the day been ignored… not by the family law but the person who played the victim and went off missing.
I may have lost the fight for my child’s right, but never will I fail to give what my little dude deserves in life. I will be honest it is not easy to run a house with one income, keeping records with expenses, not to mention the worries of babysitting and running errands (Kudos to single parents who survive and still thriving to become the best MOM!). There were moments I find myself crying in bed after a tiring twelve-hour day shift and Julian would just wipe my tears away with his warm fingers and innocent voice saying, “It’s okay Momma.” — a sweet reminder I am raising my little dude solo and that’s something I am proud of.
“Being a single parent is twice the work, twice the stress and twice the tears but also twice the hugs, twice the love and twice the pride.” -unknown