I once tried to plan a simple third birthday party for my little dude...I was going to invite immediate family in one of the buffet restaurants in my neighbourhood, and just sit around and socialize. Sounds good, right?
Well, in my month of preparation, I already invited 20, picked up party decorations, booked a party clown, and reserved catering, and still thinking of other things. I couldn't afford driving my family crazy with a list of chores and so I was convinced I just had to do it right before my son guests comes over.
Frankly, I just wanted to impress people. WHY? Because at three year old how on earth my little boy would appreciate such extravagance. And because of it, I had a miserable weeks planning everything - feeling exhausted.
How many days a week do you feel like life is just too complicated? Even if it isn't, it doesn't take us long to make things complicated. Human beings just have this innate ability to ramp up everything to the next level and anticipate things in an exaggerated way.
Did you notice little ones say a little? Although, they can also become a chatterbox at times! But, what I mean here is that they just say words abruptly and do things all of a sudden - in a very innocent and uncomplicated way. But as children gets older and faced with stress, even they begin to have the tendency to complicate things. Bottom line, little children aren't complicated. They don't live their life trying to impress anyone. Simple as that.They live one day at a time and looks forward to a new day… And they can teach us a lot about how to enjoy life.
Children add joy, purpose, and fulfillment to our lives. They bring us smiles, optimism, and cheerful attitudes. And in an innocent way, they will teach us valuable lessons about life. As a parent, it’s my responsibility to guide and teach my child to become a better if not the best person. To be a good example and set a good foundation for him to embrace like good manners and values as well as practical things. But what has surprised me in this journey is how much he has taught me. He showed me things which I forgot living my busy single mom life. He has given me the opportunity to see things in his youthful eyes and think for a while…
9 Lessons My Little Dude Taught Me
Lesson 1: Just brush it off
One thing about little children that really amazed me is they are extremely innocent and forgiving. One minute they are fighting and say “NO! It’s mine!” or hitting each other over a toy and the next minute they're hugging and sharing. They tend to forgive and forget easily.
I can tell you that hating people is complicated. You can carry a grudge and be bitter, resentful, mad and offended. And every time you see "that person" you can cringe inside and you can talk about them behind their back—or you can spare yourself the trouble. Listen, don't waste the rest of your life sulking about some unfair thing that happened to you. STOP and learn to simplify.
Lesson 2: Use Imagination and Dream big — They’re FREE anyway!
Another thing children do that makes their life simple is that they so easily believe. They believe in magic and fairy tales. They have no problem coming up with imaginary playmates or imagining life as amazing and fantastic. As adults, we need to move into the supernatural realm and start dreaming again. We need to create joy in our own lives. To dream is to believe something is possible… It just takes action. Albert Einstein said, “Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited, whereas imagination embraces the entire world, stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution. It is, strictly speaking, a real factor in scientific research.”
Lesson 3: Take a Moment — Breath
Children knows when Mommy said “time-out” they have no choice but to comply. They have learned that every bad behaviour comes consequence. As an adult, I need to pace myself. I need to say enough is enough when needed. I am not a “super mom” — I am just an ordinary mom raising a little dude the best I can. I need to face every consequence of my decision no matter what it entails. And by taking a moment, you can give your self a time to reflect and act accordingly.
Lesson 4: Relationships are worth thousands than basement full of toys!
My Julian can spend countless hours with his cousins running from yard to yard, playing tag, swinging on swings, and just being silly and laughing out loud. They can spend every afternoon and evening together without being bored. They can easily forget that they just hurt themselves earlier when they accidentally trip over. But take them away from their friends and stay at home with their toys… and boredom almost immediately sets in. For them, relationships with others are always more exciting and fulfilling than possessions.
Lesson 5: Have courage and Face your fear
When a child falls, he knows when to get up. They cry a little but will soon move on and will never feel embarrassed and inadequate. They are not afraid to try. Tell them not to touch the stove or put their finger in between door hinges, and they will try no matter what. As we get older, we are afraid to try, we fear the unknown, fear of being judged, fear of rejection… fears that are simply illusions. We hide our scars, and our wounds become our secrets. We don’t want to be seen as weak or pitied, so we tell no one where it hurts. But what children recognize is that scars aren’t signs of weakness, a scar is a sign of strength and survival — a story to tell.
“The reason why you don’t put your hand in the fire is not because of fear, it’s because you know you’ll get burned. You don’t need fear to avoid an unnecessary danger, just a minimum of intelligence and common sense. ” ~ Eckhart Tolle
Lesson 6: Big things comes in little packages
In child’s eyes everything is amazing. They easily get fascinated with every little things that comes around them. Their “WOW”, giggles and big smiles are full of meaning. For them how this little creature, spider makes a web is a magic. My little dude gets excited with little things. He gets to appreciate every little things. I once called “best best cook ever” after I made him shrimp linguine.
“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” - Robert Brault
Lesson 7: Patience is a virtue
To be honest, my house feels like a circus sometimes, and I’m not too sure who’s running it. There are days when Julian’s pulling his toy on the floor one minute and jumping off the furniture the next. Most of the time I need to repeat myself for him to get it. On the lighter note, my son has taught me to breathe deeply, pray harder, and count to ten. He apparently think I really need to grow in the area of patience, so he give me plenty of opportunities to practice it.
Lesson 8: Live in the Moment
My preschooler has absolutely no concept of time. He takes each day as it comes and see each day as a new adventure, even the days when we don’t leave the house. My four-year-old is carefree and easy going, and he just enjoy every moment unless he’s sleepy and as I list our plans for the day, his eyes light up with excitement. What seems menial to me holds potential for him, and this taught me to see each day with new eyes, live in the moment, and approach new days with excitement.
Lesson 9: Love is a Beautiful thing
I’ve always wanted for Julian to feel and see that I love him unconditionally — everything I do and all the sacrifices that I have made and continue to bear is because of him. And I thank God that Julian is a very caring, loving, and sensitive little man. One time we we’re just fooling around getting ready for bed when all of a sudden he said, “I am your baby bear and you’re my Momma bear” … and before he closed his eyes to sleep I got the sweetest words ever my entire life “I love you Momma Bear” — I can’t fathom how this little dude taught me in so many ways and gives me so much motivation to keep going. And believe me, all the weight of motherhood sinks away in that moment. I can stop worrying whether I’m doing this motherhood thing right or wrong, and simply know that my son loves me unconditionally. And, that is a beautiful, remarkable thing – and something I hope that he keep teaching me for many years to come.
What’s your story? Come and join me and share your thoughts and lesson learned from your little ones or your experience in interacting with your nieces or nephews by commenting below.